You can’t change anything until you’re aware of it – and when there are things in life you want to change, it’s difficult to see them clearly and without judgement.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how hard I am on myself when I notice things I want to change. Can anyone else relate?

One tool I’ve been using to pull myself back from the abyss of self-loathing is time travel. I look back to my eight, nine or ten-year-old self, and get curious about that little girl. I observe the coping mechanisms she’s using to face her challenges as she tries to make sense of the world, and suddenly judgement falls away, replaced by compassion for her, and for the woman that she has become. With that empathy, I can observe those patterns that get in my way with curiosity, then start to make different choices and create new patterns. 

As I think about that little girl, I wonder what other parts of her are still within me. How deeply are they buried? How would it feel to reconnect with her? I wonder if you might be interested in doing a little time travel with me…

Think back to your childhood… it doesn’t matter what exact age. Give yourself permission to hop around a bit as you consider the following questions:

What do you remember most about how you spent your time after school, on weekends, and during holidays? Where did you play? Who did you spend time with? Were you involved in hobbies or sports? How did you like to spend your time? What do you remember about school? Are there projects, school friends, teachers or moments in classrooms or on playgrounds that come to mind?

What were you curious about? What captivated your mind and instilled a sense of awe in you?

Can you remember moments of being joyful and exuberant? What were you doing, or who were you with in those memories?

Can you remember the feeling of being content? What brought you contentment as a child?

Do you remember times when you felt confident in your abilities? Strong capable?

Do you have memories of feeling loved, of being safe and secure, a sense of belonging?

Are there memories that are more difficult?
Can you remember times when you felt insecure, sad, angry, or ashamed?

Were there instances when you didn’t feel like you were loved or that you belonged?

What memories are most vivid? How do these childhood memories feel in your body?

As you look back on your younger self, what parts of that child can you still see in your adult self? What parts had you forgotten about?
What parts of your 10-year-old-self you do you miss?
How do you think you would feel if you reconnected with those parts and invited them to take up a bit more space in your life? How might you begin to do that?

Coincidentally (or not!), during the process of writing and editing this newsletter, I heard a compelling interview with an artist who used her childhood diaries to create an AI chatbot of her younger self. Read about it and/or listen here.

If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say to them? What do you think they would say to you?

If spending more time your inner child appeals to you, read this article about how to bring more play into your life. 

I’d love to hear from you about your experience with time travel – who was waiting for you as you looked back?